Faith and Doubt

[The boy’s father said,] “... If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!” Jesus said, “If? There are no ‘ifs’ among believers. Anything can happen.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!” Mark 9:22-24 (MSG)

I have always appreciated this Scripture. Honesty and transparency are what I crave, not fake plastic smiles indicating a perfect life when the soul inside is fractured.

But more often than I care to admit, I fall into the "Oh yee of little faith category" and lean on the "ifs, ands or buts" of life indicating that I somehow think I have a better handle on things than God.

Just call me a control freak. What it really is is a faltering of faith.

And Satan knows just where our Achilles heel is in the doubt department. He will squirm his way in through that tiny crack and before you even know what happened instead of faltering faith, there is failing faith.

It is OK to doubt. Admit it. God already knows it anyway.
Then ask Him to renew your faith that IS still there. No ifs.
And then ask for help; remember He will never leave you or forsake you, so scary as that may be, live as if you believe it.

Don't believe me that there are other control freaks out there? Or before you? The Bible tells their story over and over again. And used those people and renewed their faith (King David comes to mind).

So you are in good company. Give God the chance to do miracles.

Peace

Welcome To Hand Up Foundation

Today I received my letter inviting me to serve on the Board of Directors of the Hand Up Foundation in Milton, PA. I am pumped about this!



In the invitation letter, the President and Founder of HUF, Doug Diven wrote:"I am excited at the prospect of what you will bring to the table: a fresh and unconventional perspective, an aggressive approach and a genuine heart for the needy."



I would say he knows me pretty well...I am unconventional, sometimes say way too much for my own good, prefer to think of myself as assertive rather than aggressive and I do have a genuine heart for the needy.



I believe we all need to serve as the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth to bring a piece of heaven to the here and now. Jeff Goines has a great church blog; if you are missional in nature, unconventional in your thinking and dissatisfied with the status quo you will enjoy it!

Cardinals Winners in My Book

How does the loser of the Super Bowl end up being a winner?

Did you ever stop to think about just how fast all the franchisers get their stuff, you know, T shirts, hats, and blah, blah, blah every piece of paraphernalia under the son out to market so fast?

Because there is a double supply manufactured. They have to be prepared for each team to win. But of course only one team does win, and the set of goods manufactured for who ends up being the losing team is useless, at least by American consumer standards.

But World Vision was on the ball on this one, so to speak. In partnership with NFL, World Vision is supplying hundreds of poor children and families in the Central American nation of El Salvador with Reebok produced t-shirts, hats and McArthur Towel and Sports Trophy towels.

I'm glad that this kind of recycling occurs. In my book, the losers are the real winners.

The Super Bowl, Bottom Line and Hospitality

"[We need] to embrace a 'new bottom line' line in which corporations, social practices government policies and individual behaviors are judged rational, efficient or productive not only if they maximize money or power, but also to the extend that they maximize love and caring kindness and generosity, ethical and ecological sensitivity, enhance or capacity to treat others as embodiments of the sacred and to respond with awe, wonder, and radical amazement at the grandeur of the universe."
-Rabbi Michael Lerner

(Copied from yesterday's Sojourner's Verse and Voice)

So what does this have to do with the Super Bowl, hospitality and the bottom line?

I watched the news this morning and saw stories (complete with clips) of how Bank of America was a lavish supporter and underwriter of the NFL and benefited from this wining and dining in truly gluttonous fashion at the super bowl.

What is wrong with this picture? The government is bailing out this very same by billions. To me, this is absolutely preposterous. My money, that I work hard for is going to dig this bank out of a mess (which as far as I can tell is a direct result of greed) while their execs eat and drink in excess. Then there was a posh vacation offered to clients of another bank in Palm Beach. This makes my skin crawl.

Granted, I had a great job for awhile working for a medical education company where I was treated very nicely. But I told them I didn't need the town car to pick me up from the airport. It didn't make sense, even though they had it in their budget. It just seemed excessive and wasteful.

But what about hospitality? The Super Bowl is a great reason to get together for some fun or a party. But it doesn't have to be excessive to be a great time. In fact, simple gatherings where there are a group of friends hanging out, perhaps a few snacks, or even more, where everyone chips in is an inclusive brand of hospitality.

The past two years I have experienced both; a lavish party last year (that we went to because we were out of town; my husband was attending a meeting and is a die hard NE fan. Obviously I feel like I need to justify this, which tells you there is a problem...) and this year where we hung out with friends at two different small gatherings.

And you know what? I prefer the latter.

Ted Haggard: Walking Humbly or Hypocritically?

I met Ted Haggard a little over two years ago; the day before his story broke. A story he initially denied.

I have to admit I didn't know who he was when I met him (President of NAE, among other laudatory titles) but I did immediately know he had "celebrity" status by the way people were falling all over him.

It didn't take long to figure out this guy was important. We were scheduled as guests together on a Christian TV Talk show in Dallas, he to talk about his book, The Jerusalem Diet, me to talk about my book, Winning the Drug War at Home. The funny thing is I wasn't originally scheduled as a guest for that day, but I formed some pretty strong opinions in my interactions with him.

The first was that he definitely leveraged his position. He was a guest on another show across town, and needed to go on first. I was originally slotted in the first position, but it was immediately changed to cater to his schedule, which was fine except that he then went significantly over his time segment and never even said "thank you."

I have a pretty tuned in intuition, and actually just took a personality test that indicated that this is one of my strengths. There was something, well, just kind of "off" about him, not right, just too slick. His smile was plastered on his face as if held there by botox. Too smooth. Not sincere.

He forgot his Blackberry at the first studio, and when my segment was over, my friend and I drove over to the second studio to return it to him. Again, no "thank you."

I did want to ask him a question, though, because I was working on a Bible Study at the time, UnDoing Church, Discovering Faith: Not Your Mother's Bible Study(which will release in July of this year) about being the church, not going to church. In other words, living humbly, following Christ, not living hypocritically, and as a pastor of a church of over 14,000 I was interested in his take on the felt needs of his women congregants. So I explained the premise of the study and asked how many of the women in his congregation could identify with some of the issues I addressed. His answer floored me then, but even more the next day after his story broke. He said, "I have no idea what women want or are interested in." He really came up empty.

How could a lead pastor of that many people not know what hurts and hurdles were faced by members of his church, even in a broad sense?

And now he is in the news again with more improprietous allegations. I am sad about this and angry. Angry that someone who was supposed to be representing the church just added to damaging its reputation. Read UnChristian for a take on what those outside the faith think of Christians. Score ten more points for them, thanks to his actions, which were totally out of step with being a Christian.

He denied, he lied, he tried to weasel out of it, and now he is getting more press time to promote his story. Oh, and did I mention that the church paid an outrageous amount of money to the other individual who came forward as this story was breaking but none of us heard about because part of the deal was to remain silent. Over $175,000. Was this appropriate use of money collected from its members? I don't think I would have voted to approve that spending.

Imagine how much clean water and food that could provide in areas of the world hit by disease and famine...

To me the fact that Haggard is out and about touring every major news source timed to perfectly coincide with the release of an HBO story about his fall from grace is sensationalism and taking advantage of his position and an incredible media ploy. And it will not help the church. He said he was ashamed. Does that condone lying, and trying to get out of allegations?

It hasn't always been easy for me to share our story; there are plenty of things that I have felt ashamed about, including my control freak approach to enabled parenting. But I chose to share to try to help others travelling that same road, not to absolve myself of my mistakes, or worse yet deny them.

I believe in truth and transparency, even when it costs me, which it has. But I also believe our God expects nothing less.

Nursing Homes as Mission Fields

We all just want to be loved. Period.

Well, I have been spending some time recently at some places where that is particularly poignant. I started a part time job in November reviewing charts at long term care facilities. I must admit God has a keen sense of humor. He gave me this perfect job in Long Term Care facilities (make my own part time flexible hours) just as my mom is developing some memory issues...

At any rate, I have spent some time in a facility that is abysmal. It is depressing. They are understaffed and half the staff they have don't really want to be there. I witnessed more care being given to the Burger King lunch order than the residents strapped to their wheelchairs in the hallway, just wanting a human touch. Then there was the 27 minute discussion about whether one patient in particular was in their room in a wheelchair or personal chair and how it needed to be documented in the chart.

Then an angel appeared. In the persona of a nurse's aide. She smiled. She asked me (she had never seen me before, ever) how I was. She touched the arm of a gentleman sitting in his chair in the hallway and made eye contact and asked him how he was. She had a smile and kind word for each and every person she came into contact with, making them feel like they were the most important person and only person around. She radiated joy.

I saw her again two days later and stopped her long enough to comment that it seemed like this was her mission field. That she really seemed to love it and the people. She was different and I could tell. She paused, tears forming in her eyes, and remarked that she truly loved it there. She loved the people and she loved the opportunity she had to share that love with others.

It was evident to me that her love came from a higher power; that her love was the love of Jesus and that this place was her mission field.

Where is your mission field?

Hotel for Dogs

This afternoon I took my daughter to see the Nickelodeon movie, "Hotel for Dogs." Now, you need to know that I can't watch any movie without crying, so the tears were going to be a given. And come they did.

Because I think this movie did a great job of depicting community. Real "accept me as I am" community.

And isn't that what church is supposed to be? A community where people can come and be, and be accepted and loved, and healed through being loved and through that process of relationship building just as they are?

But is this how most people in need of love and belonging view the church? I venture to say "no." And if you have read the book, "UnChristian" then you are more than well aware of how "unbelievers" view Christians.

And what do I say? Shame on us who call ourselves Christians who are not loving and building relationships and community that blast the general notion that Christians are judgemental, hypocritical and homophobic, to name just three of the defining traits identified in this book.

If you need a manual for how to be a missionary in your neighborhood, this would be it. It will outline exactly what most people think of Christians and give you the perfect primer on who and what not to be.

The movie is about a couple of rejected foster kids that take in a stray dog and end up rescuing all the strays in the city, freeing the dogs from the pound, and basically loving what others have determined to be the left behind and castaways. The Christian message was pretty clear to me. Of course, my daughter wanted to know how I could see God in everything when He wasn't even overtly mentioned, but to me this would be a perfect conversation starter on our need to be loved and included. All of us. Especially the least of these.

What a great church (community) that would be.